I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
