I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize