with your own penis?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize