you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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