I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
