do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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