I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
