i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
