I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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