She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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