this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
