Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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