I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
