weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
