The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
