Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
