so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
