Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
