you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
