Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
