if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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