ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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