This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
