there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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