Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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