Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
