absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
