And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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