Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
