you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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