just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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