I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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