Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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