You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
