Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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