Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
