R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
