Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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