Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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