i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
