i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
