Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
