went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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