I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Barsexuality is the new black.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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