wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
