SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
