I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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