maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize