he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
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