she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
