He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
