yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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