butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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