hell yes lets make some ravioli
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
