oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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