I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
