hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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