If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize