i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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