Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
