I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
