I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
