His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
