but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize