ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
