How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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