dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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