If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
