smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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