Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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