she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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