Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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