He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize