Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
