That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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