Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
