In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
