I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
