If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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