she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
