I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
