break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
