Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I got inside last night via doggy door
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
