i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
