What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
