I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
