He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
